Packing while a little compromised and exhausted is the worst.

 1
12 May 12 at 3 am
tags: personal 

Please stay semester. I have regrets (?)

Boys’ shirts that get left behind. Favorite.

 1
11 May 12 at 3 am

Asked by Anonymous

tags: personal  weight  fatphobia  race 
asker I think your answer is very insightful-it does seem that at the root of all this, weight obsession might actually be a class-conciousness issue. Almost everything relates back to class divides, now that you mention it. people try to associate thinness with rich whiteness too much. sigh!

I think that the weight conversation (and the thinness obsession) for Americans is absolutely rooted in class and race issues, but no one wants to talk about it that way.  Instead, we refer to “health” as an excuse to hate and pretend to get on this high horse obsessed with the well-being of others, when actually we’re deeply uncomfortable with our own bodies and any bodies other than those who meet the general rich white standard.

Talked to Jad and Demetri, got some pictures.  

Beautiful artistic show about darkness and light.  Music, lights, love love love!

 5
10 May 12 at 12 am

Asked by Anonymous

asker Why is there so much body shaming and skinny-obsession at the 5Cs?

That’s a good question.  I don’t entirely know the answer but I have a few guesses.  

 

First, the majority of 5C students are white and come from an affluent background.  I think rich whiteness is really the cultural center of a lot of body shaming and thin-obsessed practices and ideas or at least thinness is a really important trait in rich white circles.  Because many people at the 5Cs prioritize whiteness and wealth, and thinness is a sign for both, that’s a trait that people try to emulate.  You may not be able to control your race or your economic background, but you can feel a certain level of control over your weight.  Furthermore, and I know this was the case for me, for those of us who do not come from a background where thinness is important being injected into a world where for many rich white people it is and always has been, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing them.  It doesn’t help that you’re trying to fit in, be liked, and make friends.

Second, with the Freshmen 15 not being entirely made up, lots of people feel a loss of control over their weight when they come to college and find dining halls, Flex, and lots and lots of beer.  Weight gain in the first few months of college can push people to bounce back towards the other extreme.  With the majority population of the colleges noticing and probably judging that weight gain, it’s even easier to feel like you need to make up for the few pounds with hours and the gym and/or seriously restricted calories.

Third, and this may not be a cause but it does annoy me, the rhetoric used in the Scripps gym (I don’t know about the others) regarding weight is really frustrating to me.  On the one hand, they have a “Fat Talk Free” policy that prohibits body shaming, which seems good.  On the other hand by equating the word fat unequivocally with badness, you actually make fattness bad.  Does that make sense?  I think 5C administration is not aware or sensitive enough to the fatphobia phenomenon and problem.  

 

Again, this is a tough question that I hope I have answered at least kind of adequately.  It’s something I think about a lot but it is still sometimes hard for me to understand. 


09 May 12 at 12 am

I am looking into your soul and procrastinating at the same time. What of it.  I don’t want to write my paper. :(

tags: personal  me  finals 
I am looking into your soul and procrastinating at the same time. What of it.  I don’t want to write my paper. :(

To start off my summer vacation, I think I should re-read some Mill On Liberty because he makes me feel simultaneously trapped and very very free.  Mostly I want that second thing.

 2
05 May 12 at 3 pm
tags: personal 

“You’re so sexy!” 


Thanks gay man friend.  Now to find some straight men who feel the same way…

Boyfriend moment! 

It will pass.  It will pass.  It will pass.

Patience.  Live the life you are given right now.  What you are and what you do right now is perfect for the circumstances.  If it should be any other way it would be.

 5
03 May 12 at 2 pm
tags: personal 

MY SISTER IS THE BEST. I AM SERIOUSLY SO HAPPY FOR HER.

Her life is going to great and all it does is make me smile. :D :D :D

 1
02 May 12 at 10 pm

Serious questions.

tags: personal  me  tall boys 
Serious questions.
 2
02 May 12 at 10 pm

victoria-365:

One day a boy will call me something other than cute and it will be glorious.

tags: personal  me  feminists 
victoria-365:

One day a boy will call me something other than cute and it will be glorious.
 5
02 May 12 at 7 pm

My school is excessively pretty.

tags: 365  beautiful  scripps  personal 
My school is excessively pretty.

“While many colleges are accepting more moderate- and low-income students to increase economic mobility, many students and administrators complain that the growth in unpaid internships undercuts that effort by favoring well-to-do and well-connected students, speeding their climb up the career ladder.  Many less affluent students say they cannot afford to spend their summers at unpaid internships, and in any case, they often do not have an uncle or family golf buddy who can connect them to a prestigious internship.”

From this article. I feel this a lot right now.  I would love to spend my summer in DC, learning from the politicians I admire and putting some of my education to work in a practical setting.  But those finances make it hard.  Not to mention that it took the Obama Fellowship program way too long to get back at me, funding from Scripps ended so long ago guys.  

Life’s tough in an upper-class world for a middle-class girl.  I know I whine about this a lot, maybe I’m making excuses for myself, but I feel it a lot and sometimes it bites being surrounded by people living the fancy lives that you want.

Next summer is my last change - will I take the leap?  Some loans perhaps? 

Edit: I understand that life is really exactly the opposite of tough where I live.  I remind myself of the bountiful and ridiculous gifts/opportunities I have been presented often.  But sometimes these things still get to you.